also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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