I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
