Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
