im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
