i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
