he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
