You really coming over, don't trick.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Never let your siblings swipe right.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
