margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
