Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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