I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
