What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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