The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
