Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
