I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
