@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
