I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize