Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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