why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
