Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
my liver is dry heaving
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
