Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Barsexuality is the new black.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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