She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
a search helicopter?!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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