their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
