I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize