There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
