There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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