even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
