OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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