If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
