Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
