Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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