She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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