Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I wear drunk well.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
