He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize