No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
