Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize