Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
