We tried having a conversation with our noses.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
