i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
