Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
