Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I can't turn off my feet"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize