ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
