So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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