how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
