found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
