have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
