dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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