ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
