If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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