What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
