Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
