STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
