never play flip cup with pint glasses
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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