is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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