Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
