We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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