k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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