i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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