she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
