why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
