do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
