Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Hippo gnu deer
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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