We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
